Back

Am back from very exciting time in chemistry. So miracles, yeah. What was said to me about feeling God blew my mind, I was basically sitting on the floor playing dominoes trying not to cry. Wow, God was totally in that day. And then I met a guy on the 45 bus that I havent seen for 6 whole years, and we were chatting like we hadn't lost those years. His voice has changed obviously but still the same dude. Tis amazing, hopefully meeting up with him tomorrow to catch up which will be grand.
Aw, so Saturday, hmm, lots of God things again, particularly God prods. Songsters were at The Port and I was page-turner for the evening (going to ask for a commision if I go away to Sunderland with them 'cause yeah I don't wanna be unofficial hahaha lol). Anyway, scary stuff going on.
1. At the back of the hall there they have a huge board saying "TO THE UTTERMOST HE SAVES" and I was soooo challenged by that. Like, thinking that God was saying that I have to step out a bit more, make my faith more pronounced in my life and in showing it to other people.
2. A thing has come up with someone getting God vibes and whole complicated issue with "calling" (HUGE clue there guys) and the songsters sang "One Life To Life" and one of the lines is "...desire, my own way to pursue", and God asked me if I thought that I was doing what He wanted me to do, and I couldn't answer, so am quite scared about that.
3. Hmm...there was something else but can't remember. Wish I had had a notebook with me, darn. Aw no, my dad's song "All My Pride", incredible, but words say about Jesus dying on the cross, and basically I got that I ament using the grace that God has given me enough.
So that was Saturday night, and then on Sunday I was asked to do teaching at kids church, on the Holy Spirit. I was rubbish, but God was incredible, and for somehow He worked through the rubbish that is me, and got the kids thinking and questioning absolutely everything, and that hasn't happened before. Ok, took me a while to realise how incredible that was, but that's me being human and selfish, but last night taught me humility and hopefully I'll have more chances like that for God to work through what I try to do. Hmm...getting all confused about whether I'm being selfish by saying "I" all the time, I do mean that God was helping me through it all, just have to be more aware of it, thinking.
And then, to top the whole weekend off my dad came into my room and said goodnight etc, and then said this:

"The more the good grows, so does the evil."

I was actually stunned. The idea of the devil interfering in obvious obvious ways kinda makes me believe the reality of it all, that we are in a war and we're fighting against this dude. I sent a really angry text to a friend of mine ("that geeky guy" he is known as, thank you officer) which was me basically ranting about how much I hated the devil coz i had found out some crap that really scared me, and I realised that Satan can infiltrate anywhere and it gets worse the more you get more in with God. I hadn't ever experienced it like that, so physical, real. Totally freaks me out but gosh, God's got it sorted. Thinking I have so much to learn about stuff. Looking forward to it. Have to be aware that I do have to learn and take it all in, good and bad, and remember God's always there regardless. After I sent that text I felt something, and I don't know whether it was my body on hormonal overdrive because I was so angry with Satan (how weird does that sound) or whether God was just getting into me, even that tiny little bit. I like to think it was Him, I do think it was Him. It's grand. love you all.x