Angels and conversations

I am typing for the sake of typing today. No access to computers that work so will have to leave you all for two days over the weekend. I drew an angel yesterday, was going to get the pic but my friend hasn't posted it on his blog (illfight.blogspot.com) yet so I can't steal it! Going through drawing angel phase actually, my mum said "that's a very strange thing to be into." and yes, I guess it isn't that normal, but for some reason I have to see visible things to do with God, ok creation and that definitely but angels, I just love them. There was something else I was thinking about, well actually have just thought of something. There is this new book out called "The God Delusion". Haven't read the book but kinda get from the title that he thinks all followers of religion are complete muppets that are not capable of making decisions and choose to follow whatever crowd they are born into. was soooo angry when I saw that book, might get it and see how much I can disprove, but this is Richard Dawkins we are talking about here, so that's highly unlikely. There was something else, and it was really good and I wanted to talk about it. Oh yeah, through a conversation with my mum of all people I've been kinda discouraged from saving people (AAARGH!!!!), and considering "Candle of the Lord" gave me my lifes mission (I feel) I'm a bit annoyed. The conversation kinda went a bit like this:
*in car*
"So what is this meeting about tonight?"
"Just youth work, what the army can do."
*etc etc*
"But mum they are the people we're supposed to be reaching out too."
"Look, when I did a youth club they ended up throwing darts at us under the table. How can you change that?"
"But that's our job, to try, keep going."
"But that involves time, and people get tired, and it's difficult to get enough people involved....and you can't change them."
SO, am exceptionally discouraged, I mean my mum always has some good stuff to offer, and I know I'm just a kid with barely any life experience but wow, that was quite tough to take. so yeah, im just like if people don't care then what is the point. I dont think people care anymore and it sucks...coz I care so much about them. hmm..there was something else, all this hasn't been the actual thing I want to talk about. well no I'm going to keep going with this actually, cause I don't want to give up, and if God wants me to keep going with this then He'll give me the strength to do it. But like, saving people, I don't like to think it's that simple. I like to think about how it's building up relationships with others, enjoying those relationships, giong through the hurt, sadness, anger that can come with them because they are amazing in themselves, they are emotions we can feel, and showing the love of Jesus Christ through our care and love for others, and leading them to question what we are up too. and I know that that is an ignorant 17-year-old speaking because thats ignoring the practicalities, but if that could be the aim for my life, i would do anything to let it be that way. Am gonna pray that God keeps people like Jan energised, cause what my mum says is right, it must be wearing, when nothing happens, everything collapses or you're so trapped by legislation you can't do anything, but i pray we find ways to overcome all these things. hmm...was Jesus man or God or both? but how?! who knows, was a good discussion lol! revelation and all that, going to get some books on the prophets i think, despite the fact that prophecy scares me, a lil bit at least. (But I love you Sam!!!!) I'm sorry for my wanderings, typing thoughts as they come is quite fun, but probably don't make much sense to the reader. I'd better go and do some homework, oh and go and get my stuff out of my pigeon-hole (I have a pigeon-hole, what?!!!!) and I'll try and get the angel on at some point coz, THAT'S WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY, the angel, well u'll see it, but i'll describe it, basically an angel hugging a human that's lost ("and incomplete"-lol, Fix You by coldplay, was listening to it yesterday, must have stayed in my head, good stuff, oh and realised the religious things in swallowed in the sea, it's allll good) and i was thinking "hmm...i wish when i was lost that happened, but maybe not an angel, just to feel God's prescence sometimes, cause I'm still having trouble with that (been about 4 years now) and I'm glad I appreciate nature and life so much else I'd be screwed. aw man i need another deep talk, just to get into the nitty-gritty again, hmm, don't know why, just came to the back of my head, meh. well, i hope you like the angel, it is quite random but i wanted to put it on coz i feel its kinda relevant to me just now. I gave it to my friend in the end, but i think im gonna dedicate it to Laura as well. If you're reading this, you've reached the end, been quite a marathon i'm sorry and i hope my ramblings made even the tiniest bit of sense. getting to like this whole blogging thing. take care. love.xx